How do I respond to my friend’s request? What should I do? Do you ever feel like you don’t know what to do or how to respond? We need God’s wisdom in knowing how to handle situations that come up in relationships. We need Wise Living in Relationships.

Here are some things that the world says about relationships

These are just a few examples of quotes or sayings that I found on the internet. I will admit that I have included ones might sound good but as we dig deeper into the meaning and evaluate with God’s truth we find that this is not completely the way God wants us to live.

“Find someone who knows how lucky they are to have you.”

“Friendship is the only cement that will hold the world together.” Woodrow Wilson

“How to be happy – delete the toxic people from your life.”

We need God’s wisdom to evaluate what we see based on God’s truth. Look at the first one. Do you see any problems? It sounds a bit self-centred. Our relationships need to be God-focused. Yes, friendship is good and is needed in our world but that is not what will hold the world together. God is the one. How to be happy, it sounds so easy but is that really happiness? I will touch a bit on toxic relationships and I do think that you need to move out of abusive relationships but happiness is only found in knowing God.

I included these just to show how the world’s thinking and values begin to become the thinking and value for Christians. We need God’s wisdom.

Wise Living in Relationships – the priority relationship

The relationship that we must nurture and grow is our relationship with God. God is the one who will satisfy our longings and bring fulfilment. That needs to be a priority. Spend time in God’s Word to know God more. Spend time in prayer. Your personal time with God will give wisdom and strength for relationships.

The Problems in Relationships

The problem in relationships goes all the way back to the beginning. Adam and Eve questioned God’s words to them and wondered if God is good. As a result of that disobedience, sin entered the world, creating a break in their relationship with God and shame and brokenness in relationships with others.

We continue that today with being self-centred, self-protecting, using people, and numerous other things. At times we are loving and kind and reflect God in our relationships.

The Example for our Relationships

Christ is our example of relationships. In the Gospels, we can see numerous ways that Christ interacted with people. He was moved with compassion. He accepted people yet challenged them with God’s truth. On the night of the last supper, he served the disciples by washing their feet. He knew that Peter would deny him, Judas would betray him, and they would disappear at the hour of his greatest need. That didn’t stop him for in that relationship.

There is much more that could be written. I challenge you to spend some time reading the Gospels and looking at how Jesus interacted with individuals. Look at John 4 and the woman at the well. See how Jesus relates to her. Jesus’ encounter with Zacchaeus in Luke 19 is another example.

Boundaries in Relationships

“You need boundaries in relationships.” Have you heard that statement? Is it Biblical? Did Jesus set boundaries?

Yes, some boundaries are Biblical. Boundaries give a line that we are not to cross. Boundaries are designed to keep us from sin.

Boundaries on what we will say. As Christians, we need to guard our speech. Ephesians 5:4 gives some guidelines.

Boundaries on what we allow. We do not allow someone to abuse us. That includes physical, emotional, verbal or other types of abuse. Abuse is when one person is controlling another person. This is again God’s truth. We should get a boundary of what we allow.

Other boundaries could include where we go and what we do. Again, these are to keep us from sin.

Guard again putting up boundaries that cause us to become self-focused and self-centred.

Limits in Relationships

One characteristic of being human is we have limits. I am limited in that I can only be in one place at a time. I am limited in the time I have each day. Understanding our limits in our relationships. There might be times that limits need to be enforced.

My relationships with people should not mean that I do not have time to spend alone reading my Bible and in prayer. I have a responsibility to work so my relationships should not take from that responsibility. There are times of emergency that we need to drop those and spend time with a friend but that should not be our normal practice.

There are limits to what I can do to help people. I am not the Messiah, the one that can rescue and save them from the problems of life.

Again, be careful that you don’t place other limits such as who you will be friends with and other limits.

Principles to Guide for Wise Living in Relationships

1. Learn to walk with the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16) Learn to listen to the Spirit’s promptings in your life. It might be the prompt to go visit someone or just send a message. The Spirit might prompt you to purchase extra green beans so you can fix a meal for someone who needs it.
2. Trust God to keep you safe. We need to trust that God is the one that will protect us as we build and relation with others. (Psalm 16:1-2). God is the Good Shepherd who lovingly cares for us.
3. Learn to discern God’s truth from the world’s views. (Psalm 119:59-60)To know God’s truth we need to be spending time in his Word. Learn to look at and evaluate what you see and read based on God’s truth.
4. Learn to display the fruit of the Spirit in your relationships. (Galatians 5:23-24) How different would our relationships be with we displayed these? Our relationships would be guided by love. We would find joy in our relationships. We might even need some self-control in our relationships.
5. Focus on giving and not getting. (Matthew 20:28) Christ gives us a wonderful example of this. He came to serve and not to be served. How our relationships would be changed if we focused on the other person and not what we can get from the relationship. What can you give in relationships?

 

And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” Luke 10:27 (ESV)

As a gift to you, I have created a simple printable of the 5 principles to help guide Wise Relationships. Download that here.

 

This is part of a series on Wise Living.

Wise Living – An Introduction

There is so much more I could write on this topic but I want to keep this something that is easy to read. I actually have 15 or more pages on Biblical Relationships. Would this be a resource that would be helpful to you?

How does this help you to think about relationships from a Biblical perspective? Leave a comment below.